What I learned from my Cancelled Wedding

Today, I wanted to share with you my Cancelled Wedding story...

If you have been following my blog, you know that I cancelled my dream church wedding two months before the big day but for some reasons, I didn't have enough courage to share my experience in this blog..But today, I decided to put my experience into words so that if someone else might stumbled to read this post who also went or going through my same experience-- they will know that they are not alone.. And yes my dear, cancelled weddings can really happen too in real life and not only in movies as I also thought before. But It's okay... Sometimes life is just like that. There are unexpected times  that will come into your life when you feel as if everything was perfect and then suddenly you realized, it wasn't.

I wouldn't want to divulge the reason why my dream wedding turned into a total nightmare in respect to him and his family as I believe it's not appropriate to discuss our private life in a social media site. I would like to focus on how my experience turned into positive and hopefully help others who are also struggling with the similar situation.. 

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Everything for our wedding was almost set. Afterall, I have been  preparing for it for more than a year. I planned for everything.. The venues, all of our wedding vendors, the motif, the songs that will be played in our reception and my ex liked and agreed to everything that I picked. Everyday I imagine myself and him on one of the happiest days of our lives and so when the day came that I'd completely decided to call it off, I felt as if my world crashed. It's so sad witnessing how all of our  goals and future plans together suddenly disappeared in just a snap. I cried and grieved for it for weeks and it's even harder because my ex didnt even care to participate or atleast help me cancelling our vendors. We just stopped communicating one day & parted ways in a very immature manner. 

How did I overcome it? I actually didnt know. But I dont think I could ever have survived it without the love and support of my family & friends. At first, I was so anxious to let my parents know as I dont want to hurt & disappoint them but afterall what happened, I realized that my family cares about my happiness more than what they do on our wedding.. my parents and I became even closer.. they supported me all the way through my grieving stage. And so after weeks of crying with the loss of my relationship and wedding, I decided to let go. It's difficult, sad and painful at first but it's okay.. cry as much as you want to but in time, without even noticing it, you will surely get over it like I did =D

 The Things I've Learned? It has been more than a year and as I sit here doing this blog, I can completely say that I'm now perfectly okay and happy with who and what I have now without any single regret of what happened. And in fact, I believe that Calling off my wedding & splitting up with my ex was one of the bravest & smartest decision I've ever made for both of us. Since cancelling the wedding, I've learned so much about myself and my relationship with him..  I realized that I was too lost in my relationship and fell more inlove with the idea of the wedding than the idea of marriage and him having a different perspective and priorities in life... I guess we were both not ready for marriage yet that time. Afterall I was only 20 then, I still have a long way to go and learn how to make major decisions of my life like getting married.

I also learned how to trust my intuition and heart when it comes to decision-making. I have this nagging doubts in my heart [even before the wedding planning & stuff]  that he's not really the one-- that I should think of ending our relationship long before but I kept on going fearing I might regret breaking up with him in the end.. Besides, I loved him.. he loves me..and so I paused & continued and became excited & completely consumed & preoccupied with the wedding, with our future lives together and followed what my mind states.. Now I learned the hard way.. Sometimes, you know, trusting your heart & guts is the best decision to make the right decision..

But the most important lesson that I've learned from all of this is to surrender everything to God. I overplanned my life.. created a fairytale-like love story in my mind and made a decision of my own but then again when this unexpected thing happened to us, I've learned that this is not God's plans for me.. I will not plan for my life.. He already did even before I was born. Whatever his reasons, I trust HIM  and I will patiently wait for the Mr. Right for me, in His appointed time... 

Rica ♡